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I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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