I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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