She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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