we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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