i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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