She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
