she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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