In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
