so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
