at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
