How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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