Your face is a jimmy john
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
