Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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