I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I miss vodka workout Fridays
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
