I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
