i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just want nice things and good sex
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
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