one word: firstdatebathroomanal
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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