I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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