u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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