We named our party play list daddy issues
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
