How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Small penises have feelings too.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
