too bad you live with your parents still
vagina is talking i cant
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
