I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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