No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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