I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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