The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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