why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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