dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
