So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
