god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
When are your genitals available?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
