It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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