Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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