idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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