You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Drunk is a universal language darling
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
