I'm sorry my penis didn't work
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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