guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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