Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
