Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
