Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
