A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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