yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
