Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
