Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
