I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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