I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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