How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
