How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
