I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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