I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
