Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
