Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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